Don’t blame me. I’ve only been pregnant for eight months or so. It’s something that’s on my mind a lot, okay? So when a fellow employee asked me a question I hear quite often lately, I thought my response was perfectly appropriate.

Her: How long are you going to be here?
Me: Well, I’m having the baby on February 17th, so that’s two weeks from Friday, and then I’ll be on maternity leave.
Her: Wow, that’s coming up fast! [pause] How long are you going to be here today?
Me: Oh! To-day! Heh heh. Um, 4:30. Heh.

And then I waddled away as quickly as possible.